I am offering the vacation of a lifetime!
I am offering a no-sleep guarantee. If you want more than 3 hours of sleep, we will require a deposit of an angry crying infant, extra loads of spit up and dried breast milk laundry.
On occasion, we even offer a bodily fluids extravaganza tour, complete with explosive diarrhea and vomit on clothing, walls, carpet, nooks and crannies of furniture and of course you.
The bathrooms are state of the art, and not to worry, you will be accompanied on each and every visit to do your business (non-optional).
At no extra fee, you will benefit from extra shiny skin and hair, from not showering… ever. Also, at no extra fee, we offer a detox program, called “post-partum hormone crying for no reason”.
We offer a very relaxing spa experience, where we offer an infant continuously biting, squeezing and hanging off your breasts. Not to mention the wonderful upgrades that will be taking place in your nether regions.
I cannot fail to mention our out-of-this world dining experience, which features never having a chance to eat when you are hungry, and not having time to prepare what you would like to eat, when you can.
Well, according to Meghann Foye, it is completely unfair that mothers get to have a leave from work to have time to themselves. She complains that women who do not have children do not get to partake in this glorious vacation experience, and should get their own “Meternity”
Sorry if you just choked on your coffee!!
Having children is an amazing experience, and I am so thankful to be able to spend this time with them. But, never have I ever described my time with my little people as a vacation.
….of course she has just released a book…. you can find it here, Meternity
… I wish this woman all the best in her quest… and I hope she gets to enjoy a maternity vacation in the near future. *winky face*
What was the highlight of your “Maternity vacation”?
(Picture taken from amazon.ca)